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Barto Family

Chandler, AZ 

My husband, Matt, and I had been married almost 20 years and had 3 children when we decided to become foster parents. We had no intention of adopting - we wanted to help children and families through a difficult time. The training provided by our foster agency was thorough. The home study process helped us examine how we were raised, how we raised our own children and the strengths and weaknesses of our marriage.

We first fostered a little girl for 21 months and transitioned her to an adoptive home. We were sad to let her go, yet we knew the adoptive family was a perfect fit for her. Plus, we kept reminding ourselves, we didn't do this to adopt. We have our kids already.

Our next placement was Margaret. She presented some challenging behaviors and tested us every day. Thanks to her, we learned about attachment disorder, PTSD and read every book we could find on healing abused children. She's taught us how to be better parents and enabled us to help other foster/adoptive parents struggling with the same behaviors.

Our advice to prospective foster/adoptive parents is to take advantage of additional training. Don't just do the minimum required to renew your license. Take any and every class you can to learn more about helping these children reach their full potential. Read every book you can find. Join a support group of other parents in your area. We've made some awesome friends who encourage us and have experienced some of the same struggles.

When we knew Margaret would be available for adoption, we both prayed for it to be abundantly clear that we should be her forever family. We knew it would be extremely difficult for her to transition to another family. It was obvious to us very quickly that she was meant to stay. When we asked Helen, our biological daughter, (4 years Margaret's senior) for her permission to adopt Margaret, she just smiled the biggest smile and said, 'Yes.' When we asked Margaret if she'd like us to be her forever family, she too, smiled the biggest smile and hugged me like never before. There was such a weight lifted from her. The worrying was over. She was home.

The changes in Margaret since that day have been amazing. Both educationally and emotionally, she's surprised us all. She's been with us over 2 ½ years now and has healed tremendously from her past abuse. If you ask Margaret, she'll tell you she has the best family ever. We're back to 'just fostering' again, but who knows...

Find out more how to adopt and how to foster.

Media who would like to interview the Barto family, contact us at info@adoptuskids.org or 888-200-4005.