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Jackie

Iowa 

Jackie, 28, spent more than half of her life in foster care.  She now runs a local chapter of a statewide support group for foster care teens and alumni in Iowa. She shares with us her story of finding happiness after foster care.

Jackie's story in her own words

If someone had told me when I was in foster care that my life at 28 would be what it is today, I doubt that I would have believed them. I have spoken on Capitol Hill numerous times; I have a job that I love running a local chapter of a statewide support and advocacy group for foster care teens and alumni; I am happily married and we have a beautiful baby girl.

The decade since I left care has been full of blessings and miracles. In hindsight, however, so was the decade that I spent in the system. While in care, I never lost contact with my mom, I had the same case manager throughout, and I had amazing teachers who kept me interested in school. These things rarely happen for foster care youth.

I started school behind grade level. In first grade, I was supposed to be placed in special education. At the time that I left care I had spent more than half of my life in the system. Between the ages of eight and 18, I was in six placements in three Iowa counties. I changed schools an average of every other year. To people who have never been in the system, it sounds like chaos and they would probably expect me to derail completely. To people who have lived in the system though, that sounds like a pretty stable childhood.

I only ever lived in foster family care. I feel fortunate to have never lived in a group home or shelter. There were always foster families available to take me when I needed a new placement. Some of those families were a lot better than others. Some took me on vacation with them, included me equally in birthday and Christmas festivities with the rest of their family and purchased the clothes I needed rather than just what the tiny state stipend would cover. Those families helped me to heal and become a whole person.

Others placements used the children in their care as a means to avoid employment, or in order to work through issues from their own childhood, or so that they could feel good about themselves. One foster mom tried to take away visits with my mom when I refused to let her tell lies about me to people in the town where we lived. Another family left the foster children in respite while the foster mother and her adult children went to Disney World without us. Then they wondered why we did not act like part of their family. While those placements were difficult to live in, they made me a stronger, more self-reliant person.

It was in those less desirable placements that I started focusing on school. I excelled in my classes and graduated in the top 15 percent of my class, even with taking accelerated courses. I joined extra-curricular activities at school to get out of the house. I gained experience in leadership and public speaking during after school actives. I used those skills to network with people who invited me to speak at conferences for foster youth and foster parents while I was a freshman in college and before long I was being sought for boards, committees and conferences around the state.

By the time I finished college, I had been accepted for an internship program that was developed to give foster care alumni the opportunity to work on Capitol Hill, an activity previously near impossible for them to pursue. The two groups that ran the internship, the Orphan Foundation of America and the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, now each have separate, successful internship programs for foster care alumni. I interned with Senator Charles Grassley from my home state when I participated. That experience opened up other doors for me, including an indirect link to my current job as an Elevate chapter facilitator.

All of the opportunities that came together for me are still available to young people in foster care. In my state and many others, there are more opportunities than ever before. Thanks largely to alumni groups like Elevate, FosterClub, California Youth Connection and others, there are now laws in place in certain states to help former foster youth maintain medical coverage to age 21, to give them financial assistance in paying rent and other bills as they attend college or work, and to give them access to professionals who can help them in making a plan to attain their self-sufficiency goals.

What I wish more young adults still involved in foster care knew is that they can achieve any dream they have, if they are willing to put in the time and effort to do so. The supports are in place, even in this time of economic hardship, to make anything possible for the person too determined to give up.