August 2010 Caseworker of the Month
Becky Selander
Salem, Oregon
Becky Selander, an adoption worker and recruitment specialist with the Oregon Department of Human Services, is our August Caseworker of the Month. Her open-minded approach to recruiting has helped bring together more than 350 families of all different shapes and sizes from at least 33 states.
Recruiting Families
“Every family you study is nervous going into the adoption process, and you meet them for who they are. I think that’s one of the hardest things to communicate to families. We’re not here to judge you. We’re here to help you in this process and stand by your side and hold your hand.
“There’s no perfect family. I look beyond the surface to immediately find what their strengths are and how they’re going to make a child more comfortable and more stable. That’s so much more important than what their lifestyle choices are, where they’ve chosen to live and who they’ve chosen to live with. Unless there’s something huge, you’re going to be good enough and our job is to find what shines about you and show that,” Selander said.
That was the case with Jody Germond of Aumsville, Ore., who nominated Selander. She was single when she decided to adopt and knew it would be difficult to overcome the stereotypes attached to being a single parent.
“I had been so nervous about the whole process, but once Becky arrived at my house I was completely at ease,” Germond said.
Representing Families
Selander, who has worked in child welfare since 1987 and previously helped institute a nationwide recruitment program for Marion Branch foster care children, said her job now is to represent families.
“In today’s society there are a lot of single parents raising children, and we don’t criticize them. If you’re looking for problems, you’re going to have them. If you go in looking for the strengths, and focus on highlighting those versus the thing that might be a concern, then you’re focusing on the positive.
“For example, take a divorced family. A lot of people in society will look down on that family, but their strength is that they’re able to blend and become a single unit. Or take someone who is older. Instead of saying they’re too old to adopt, you turn that around into a positive because they have all these years of experience,” Selander said.
In Germond’s case, which was one of Selander’s first, the goal was to show her great sense of humor and how her background in being an inmate specialist at the county jail demonstrated how she could meet people where they are emotionally and connect with them.
“Sure enough, once her study was complete, I began to get calls from caseworkers who were interested in considering her for their children,” Selander said.
In a turn of events, however, Germond ended up meeting the man who was to become her husband in the middle of the adoption process.
“I ended up putting the whole thing on hold after Cody and I started dating,” Germond said. “It wasn’t fair to him to say, ‘Hi, my name’s Jody. I’m in the process of adopting a child. Nice to meet you.’”
About two years later, the newly wedded couple decided it was the right time to pursue adoption again.
“I contacted DHS and we started taking the classes I had previously taken. I then contacted Becky to see if it was possible for her to be our caseworker. She was able to get the request approved, and it went so quickly and smoothly from there thanks to her,” Germond said.
Retaining Families
For Selander, Germond represents the exception of families who come back after putting the adoption process on hold.
“I think the other families I don’t hear back from, most of the time it’s because they decided not to adopt. I try to let them know that’s OK and sometimes it’s good to take a break and process what this change is going to mean to their family. I also let them know it’s OK to come back. I think most caseworkers are non-judgmental because you had the forethought to think about this and make sure it’s the right choice,” Selander said.
When it comes to retaining families who are getting discouraged during the adoption process, Selander said she makes a point to have regular contact with them and let them know she’s still working for them even though they might not see it.
“I think sometimes they question me, whether I wrote their study well or whether I’m doing what I say I’m doing. So what I try to do is have contact with them. It’s hard to do sometimes with the heavy caseloads we have, but it’s important to make a phone call, an email or a home visit just to let them know you still care. I also keep a file of every call and email and everything I send on their behalf so I can open it and say, ‘While you can‘t see everything I’m doing for you behind the scenes, I’m out there advocating for you,’” Selander said.
Recognition and Retirement
Although she’s 10 years away from retiring, Selander said her dream party would to be in a room full of all the families she’s helped bring together. Among them would be the Germonds with their two children Adrianna, 5 and Aden, 4.
As for receiving the recognition of AdoptUsKids’ caseworker of the month, Selander said, “This is pretty impressive to me. I know the impact AdoptUsKids has nationwide is huge. So, to be selected from a nationwide pool is just a great thing that feeds my spirit.”
The nomination letter
A number of years ago I started looking into options for adoption. I was completely unaware you could adopt through the state. My brother and his wife were in the process of adopting a child from another country and I knew it was an expensive process for them as well as time consuming. At the time I was single and knew that it would be difficult for me to go through an adoption process like they were doing. I was thrilled when I learned you could adopt through the Department of Human Services (DHS). What really surprised me was the fact that there was literally no expense to me except my time.
I took the required classes and turned in all of the necessary paperwork. I was finally matched up with my caseworker, Becky Selander. She came to my house for the first time to do my home study, and as soon as she arrived we just clicked. So much so that she had to come back a second time to actually complete my home study. I had been so nervous about the whole process, but once she arrived at my house I was completely at ease.
I ended up putting the whole process on hold for awhile. I had met someone I knew from the start was going to play an important role in my life. I didn't think it was fair to him to get thrown into the middle of an adoption until I knew for sure. We married after about six months, bought our home, faced a lot of death in our families and then after some time had passed decided it was time to start the process again.
I contacted DHS and we started taking the classes I had previously taken. I then contacted Becky to see if it was possible for her to be our caseworker. It was great to talk to her after so much time had passed. She was able to get it approved and then came and met with us to complete the home study. Becky is very down to earth and easy to get along with. She tells it like it is and was such a great resource for us. The process went so quickly and smoothly thanks to her.
We looked through the adoption books and made a list. We had picked out a brother and sister that were ready for adoption. They were the first and only children we went to committee on. Becky was fabulous and explained everything to us as we went through the process. It was about nine to 10 months from the time we started the classes until we had two wonderful kids living with us.
The children's caseworker is terrific too. Her name is Michelle Anderson-Alberts. Between the two of them they made an unbelievable match up with us and our kids. It was meant to be. The adoption was final one month ago and we are all so happy together. It has been so much more than I ever thought it could be. We owe all of it to Becky and to Michelle too. They are big-hearted people who have changed our lives in ways I never thought were possible. I now have a five-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son who have brought me more joy in the short time they have been in my life than I have ever known.
Jody and Cody Germond
Aumsville, Oregon
Media who would like to interview Selander, contact us at info@adoptuskids.org or 888-200-4005.
