The Glynn Family
My whole life, I wanted a houseful of children. When I was about 16, I made a pact with myself that if I turned 40 and wasn't in a relationship or didn’t have any children, I would adopt. I have several adopted cousins so it wasn't completely unknown territory for me. After a 5 year marriage and divorce, I was still childless. As I turned 40, I simply decided I was not going to wait for the perfect man to come into my life to make my dreams of being a mom come true - so I started the process to adopt. The decision was made in a matter of a day. In truth, I believe God took control at that moment as I do not even remember making that first call to sign up for the orientation. The feeling was actually effortless to me as I felt similar to that of a pawn on a chessboard with a higher power moving me around. I loved the adoption classes and made some lifelong friends who I still stay in touch with, and as a further bonus, I am Godmother to one of their adopted sons.
To finally get the homestudy completed took a while. Papers were lost, fingerprints took longer than they should have - things would just happen that prolonged the completion. It probably took about a year and a half before my homestudy was completed and ready to submit for matching. Fortunately, because my choices were so open I was matched very quickly and several times. I wanted more than one child, I wanted older than two years, I wanted boys, and I wanted African American. Together, these are a sign for a lifetime in foster care. African American boys over the age of two and part of a sibling group are the hardest to place. I find this apprehensible and hopefully people will read my story and see what a huge mistake they are making by not following their dream to have sons. The first time I was matched was with a beautiful little girl, a single child. I thought about it, but I had my heart set on boys and on siblings so I had to pass. Next was a single 3 yr old boy but reading his profile, nothing clicked. Next came a pair of 6 yr old twins, a boy and a girl. Still...my heart did not send the message that they were the ones. Then it happened. I was matched with two brothers, ages 2-1/2 and 4. I remember the day Peggy Stofik emailed their picture to me. My heart stopped. I couldn't stop looking at them. I knew they were the ones!
The day I met them was at their foster mother's home where they had pretty much lived their entire lives. It was a very surreal feeling going to 'meet' your children or even being 'given' children. Their foster mother, Sara, an older, raspy-voiced woman, opened the door, did not return my 'hello' and without a smile said "Are you the one who wants to adopt my boys?" She scared me. Their caseworker and I spent about an hour and I played with the boys and left there with a strange, happy, scared, nervous, unsure, excited feeling. There are a lot of emotions that you go through at that moment. I think even more so when you're doing it alone. You want to make sure you're making the right decision for both yourself and for them. The second visit was the following week when they came to my house. All I did was open the door and my two little babies came running into my arms with big smiles wearing matching overalls, which I have saved in a box of special things. That day was truly amazing! They ravaged through their future new bedroom and all the brand new toys and books and cars I had waiting for them. They jumped on their new beds. At one point I was sitting on the bed with Steven on my lap and I was explaining to him that I was going to be their mommy and that they were going to live with me and that I was going to take them to school and Steven said "Are you going to take us Everywhere with you?" and I replied "Yes" (as a single parent, you really don't have much choice). So Steven looked at me face to face, gave me the biggest toothless grin I've ever seen, clapped his hands together and said "Let's get started!" I couldn't stop hugging and kissing them. I cried when they left. Because the bond was so quick, we started overnight weekend visits very early and within two months they moved in. Our very first weekend together I picked them up at their foster home. With them both in their car seats behind me I couldn't stop looking at them in the rearview mirror. I was so mesmerized that I went the wrong way on the parkway and drove about a half hour out of my way. I turned around and got back on in the right direction, only to stay in my little dream world of having my babies with me and this time drove past my exit about a half hour. It was just so overwhelmingly surreal for me to finally have them. The next morning, I took them to have their portraits taken, and then my sister and I took them to the beach and boardwalk for their first time. They went CRAZY!! Steven just ran in circles and screamed the ENTIRE time. Like a puppy let out of a cage, he just ran and ran and ran. Terry was much quieter and just played in the sand. It was the first of many wonderful times together. I have stayed in touch with Sara and I take the boys to visit her, as well as send pictures and emails on a regular basis. We have a special love for each other as she is my sons' history and she knows that 'her boys' are living a wonderful, happy life. She is still "Nana" and is always shocked when she sees them and how big they got.
Since then, the boys have grown into incredible young men. They are now 8 and 9-1/2 years old and bigger than most kids their age. My baby Terry writes me love letters every day and I find them all over the house. He is a loverboy and very caring! Steven is Mr. Drama. He loves the spotlight! He's funny, athletic and the girls love him!
The only issue I have dealt with since getting my sons is probably working with the school to get them the best IEP. They both suffer from minor attention span issues and I have worked closely with the school to ensure they are getting the best education. Fortunately our town has a very good school district and their special education program team is very diligent in making sure the boys get what they need. They both get very good grades. Steven is an avid reader and Terry loves to write. They both have won many awards in school as well as other accolades for "Caught Being Kind" which the school puts a lot of emphasis on. I receive compliments on the boys everywhere we go. It has actually become a family joke because it happens all the time. Teachers actually request that they have the boys in their classrooms. I receive emails from their teachers telling me how much they love my boys. People from church, who I do not even know, comment on how sweet and polite and well-behaved they are (which makes me question why they don't listen as well at home…lol). They've played T-ball, soccer and are now playing football for the first time. They are also Cub Scouts. They are messy, don't like cleaning their room or going to bed early. They are loud. I have to repeat myself 100 times to get them to listen...and they will sometimes pout if they don't get their way and they are now starting to eat me out of house and home. They are also best friends and never (honestly) fight. They are inseparable and I can't imagine that there was a chance that they could have been split up and not grow up together. They are normal kids, but with a little bit more 'special-ness' about them. They are never fresh-mouthed or mean to anyone and I honestly could not ask for better children. I am extremely proud of the young men they are becoming.
Today, I am in a wonderful relationship with a man that I met through a mutual friend. Our sons became friends at school and she worked with Herb. The funny thing is, it was because of the boys that actually led us to getting together. Our friend thought we would hit it off so she told him about me. And although neither of us were looking for a relationship, he wanted to meet me because he said he had always 'heard about people like me', hmm…what's that supposed to mean…lol, but never actually met one. So, we agreed to meet for lunch and make a new friend. Turned out to be love at first sight and we've been together since. He now lives with us and we are one big happy family. He has two adult children and four grandsons under the age of 9, who spend many weekends with us. I am surrounded by little boys!! The boys all love spending time together and are very close. Herb attends all the boys' sports and school functions with me and is involved with their Cub Scouts. He also does volunteer work with teens in Camden. He is a wonderful role model for the boys and they consider him their dad.
There are people who think that you could never love a child with the same intensity that you do a biological child. I honestly could not imagine loving anyone more than I love my sons. They are my life and I am absolutely crazy in love with them. They drive me crazy, pretty much daily, and my house will never be clean until they go off to college but I wouldn't trade a single moment with them for a hundred biological children. This was God's plan for me, and for them, and I thank Him every night for giving them to ME.
Anyone who is considering adopting a child... Follow your heart. Don't be afraid of the unknown. LIFE is unknown. 'Happily Ever After' is the result of our actions, and there is nothing that will make you happier than knowing that while your dreams of being a parent are being fulfilled, you are at the same time saving a child from a life of not belonging to anyone.